You just THOUGHT you knew The Cabin Goddess...

Kriss aka The Cabin Goddess aka The Bacon Walker aka Awesome Incarnate agreed to be my "victim" this week.  She has the most AMAZING recipes on her blog along with some of the most entertaining posts you will ever come across.  She has 5 kids, the oldest two support her blogging by sharing & helping her out.  She's also known for making snow angels at -39F as in NEGATIVE 39 degrees in a...bikini!!  

So after you read all this juicy stuff about her, go check out her blog.  http://cabingoddess.com/

Her many adventures as a mother and Goddess of the Alaskan wilderness have prepared her for the biggest adventure yet to come...

"I reached up slowly trying to focus on the shadow loaming, I could smell freshly cooked bacon, in fact I swear I could hear sizzling in the background, and she spoke again, "We have been searching for you for months. It was prophesied and foretold at a BBQ at the VFW for the 4H club of Lonoke County, Arkansas.......... you are The Bacon Walker....." and so begins a new adventure of Cabin Goddess Kriss Morton.

I am deathly afraid of sharks, even if I know rationally that there are none, especially in lakes, I have a huge phobia due to watching JAWS in the theater with my dad * running into a HUGE ass dog fish when I was skin diving in the bay where I grew up.  What makes this totally random and also completely irrational is that I am a swimmer.  I have always swum, my dad taught me how from the minute I could crawl I do not even remember learning!  SO when we moved to Wollochet Bay in Gig Harbor, WA I swam CONSTANTLY! Never with fear, until after that fateful viewing of JAWS!  I mean does this place look menacing?  Now when I grew up we had a small wooden deck that the boats were docked out, as you can see as soon as they kicked us kids out they RAMPED things up a bit.. get it .. ramped.. ANYWAY

  

I have a serious addiction to office supplies, especially pens and notebooks.  I literally have to be steered away from the section when we are at the store.  It was REALLY bad when my fiance Geoff worked in charge of Special Orders at Office Max!  I actually had him researching items so I could get REALLY cool notebooks!  At this time I have five working journals and about thirty blank ones.  It used to be more but I have been giving them as gifts.   I also have well over 100 gel pens, plus a complete carrier for the rest that I use for scrapbooking. (YES that is the story I am sticking to!)  OH! PLUS I have OCD when it comes to lined note paper.  I like really thin scientific ruled, which is skinnier then college, and it has to be purple, black or brown lined, NOT aqua.  I hate aqua, it looks CHEAP!

[This is obviously not me, but this is someone I have Circled with who happened to be in the Wicca-pedia site ~ get it.. get it? WIKIpedia --laughing]

I am an Ordained Priestess.  YEP, witchy poo here, have broom will travel and witch parking only, all others will be toad!  Although my belief system has really become so dang personal I can no longer give a definitive answer as to what flavor of pagan I am anymore, I can say I am a recovering Dianic (because I do like men and balance and I no longer view myself as a rabid feminist)  Since moving up to Alaska and becoming engaged to an atheist, my practices are very private and solo.  But I maintain my notary public for those that still ask me perform their marriage/handfasting ceremonies!

Y'all know I love bacon!  But I also love peanut butter & pickle sandwiches!  Oh do NOT knock 'em before you try them.  I have to eat them with Nalley Banquet Dills and crunchy peanut butter.  OH me oh MY!  Sometimes I even say SCREW the bread, grab the jar of pickles and peanut butter, a fork and a spoon and just eat them like that!  WAHOO PICKLES!!  OH and I guess this could be part of this random fact- peanut butter and mustard sandwiches rock also!

 

I am a direct decedent of Alexander Hamilton (as direct as you can get) and as SOME of you may know I am also one of Morgan the Pirate or as we were taught growing up, Sir Henry Morgan a successful man in his time!  Though he started life out as a privater and became a great leader for England and never knew that he was being a pirate when it happened.. He slipped! It was an accident, I SWEAR! (Read the link PEOPLE!!) I get all my glorious feisty Welsh blood from him and my blond moments from the Norwegian side (my mothers).   I was told I was Irish for the LONGEST of times till my father admited we were Welsh, ummm wasn't that obvious with the ties to Morgan?  HECK I was kind of disappointed, every self respecting witch loves to tell folks she is a decendent of Celts.. WAIT I AM, I HAVE VIKING BLOOD, and Celts are a blend of Roman, pure Irish crazy folk, fey and Nordic plunderers!

I am old...really old. As in I played Bard's Tale on my Apple IIE and mapped out the game on graph paper just so I could find my way around.  It was mono toned in green.  Plus I would hook it up to larger TV's with an RF modulator and hack the game with C++ so I could have a killer character.  Yep, been a nerd for a LOOOONG time!  Original Girl Gamer!  I had a picture of a 280 on my refrigerator in 1989 when I was pregnant with my first child.  I learned to hack on a Trash-80.  YA old!


I learned to swim when I was six months old!  My dad felt that it was a huge ass case of child neglect not to teach kids how to swim, especially since we lived on the water.  One of my favorite pictures they have is of me swimming to my dad as a baby, it is surreal!

The suit says I was on the Peninsula Swim Team so this was 1976ish.  If I am remembering this particular speedo, It was, perhaps a bit later, because I had already seen JAWS.  My Dad took this because I had been afraid to dive into our water off the doc for months.

I used to be a alpine ski racer, Giant Slalom & Downhill.  If I had not gotten hit by a car & been stuck with a titanium rod in my leg I would have been singing the same tune as Picabo Street! (whom I used to race with as a Junior Olympic skier)

I used to beat everyone at the beer chugging contests in college (back in the 80's) without using my hands. Fastest time was 2.9 seconds for 12 ounces!  Ask me how I did that?  HAHA and NO it did not involve a beer bong!  It was out of a glass!  There are no surviving photos I'm aware of,however I can still do this and have been known to on occasion (Cough at the Pub.. cough) HOWEVER this guy ALMOST has my form, but not close enough so you can get the idea.  Plastic glasses are for woosies, I did it with pub glasses.  DO NOT DO THIS if you are not properly trained.  We trained daily with soda at the cafeteria to get our form, our time and our carbonation tolerance high enough to be able to drink a 12 ounce bottle or glass in under 5 seconds.

When I was a wild and crazy teenager I used to sneak out to my boyfriends house, or to another friends to hot tub if their parents were gone.  I knew it was time to get home when the peacocks would start crowing. Yep you read that right, PEACOCKS!  There used to a peacock farm up the road from our house.  When it closed down back in the early 1900's they just let them go wild so now there are all these crazy bird running around the woods in Gig Harbor, WA.